Thursday, August 21, 2008

And I (IIIIIIIII) Will Always Love You (Cheesey and or Farcus Wafflehump)

Mama Wafflehump, if that terrible daughter, sister wannabe, wife of my beloved only brother EVER sends you away, I give you permission to send your spirit guides, totems, scout guides, runners, emissaries of the arch angel, ascended masters to go "get her"!!!! Or just call me and I can change your depends, give you a shower, give you your medications, cook for you, take you for walks, anything and everything. A separate charge for each and every activity mind you.  Nothing personal of course.  I'm a professional care giver now and must be treated and compensated as such!!

Computers. Hmmmmm.  It's about time you freaks of pain and torture realize how much easier my life with a mac is.  Have you not seen the mac/pc commercials?  I love those, especially  the newest one with the hot teas to soothe the vista beast!  Get a MAC for god's sake!!  Sean's mom says that her next computer will be a mac. She's been saying that for years and the next one she gets is still a windows version. Sadomasochistic!? 

Can you not clip the kitty babies claws? I know, I know, they don't like it! (I can hear you Jessica!!) Neither does Poshock but it takes about 20 seconds per paw and no open wounds. Nice for everyone especially when we decide it's bathtime.  Sean still has a long scar down his leg trying to hold Peteno in the tub while she wasn't clipped. This is now a must routine for bathtime. So I'm guessing that no one on this blog but the Flanagan's are brave enough (or is there a better phrase...silly, stupid, naive, idiotic) to bathe their cats?? Here's a solution....sell the cats and use the money for a down payment on an ibook.  Better yet, instead of cock fighting we could ........... never mind, I can see the yoga loving hippie getting freaked out already.

Speaking of the yoga loving hippie freak, love you sis! Maybe, just maybe, doing the downward facing dog asana will keep your nose in check. Not sure about the eyes. Sorry none of the docs understand what to do with you. I get it completely because they can never find the right antibiotic that will do anything to me.  All my past doctors considered me a medical puzzle because I never react to any meds like I should.  The one that really freaked out my current doc is a couple of years ago my shoulder was still really really bad and she wanted to give it a good shot of relaxing to I had 3 days worth of Valium 20mg each.  Friday night I took 3.  Saturday morning: 3, Saturday afternoon: 3, Saturday evening: 3, Sunday morning: 3, Sunday afternoon: 2.  Know what I did that weekend?  Set up for and had a yard sale. Didn't get one damn bit sleepy or weird minded. Not like now with my spotty nervous and mental breakdowns.  340mg's of Valium in 2 1/2 days and it didn't phase me one bit. Sigh. 

Made quilt blocks for the fair at work this weekend.  Sean's quilts and my quilt are in the show. His one quilt is from the '30's and is made from suits and trousers. A true necessity quilt. It should be fun. I'm volunteering for a couple hours. So do they have me stationed with the quilts cause I love to quilt? Nope.  Do they have me doing the cake walk cause I can hit stop on a music making machine quite well and I also love to eat cake? Uh hu, guess again.  You're all right!  They've got me at the food tent! What else does a person who cooks all the time like to do in their spare time? Beg for donations so people can shove a hot dog in their pie hole! If I'm lucky, I may get to cook them too!! One can only dream!!

I'm going to go for now, Ma .. best of luck on that computer, hate it for you.  Once it's up and running I would love to see the stained glass piece and hear more about it. I need to know more about the parents I didn't know I had! Dad, keep you're chin up.  Christmas Vacation will be here before you know it.  And Jess, what wonderful words of wisdom shall I pass onto you? Everyone loves the hippy dippy weatherman, I'm not so sure about the hippy drippy animal phlebotomist.

Love and kisses to all of you!!!

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