Sorry Lori!

Endless apologies Lori...first I tell you how much you are missed and THEN I don't respond to your missive!

Had a great visit with Jess and Tommy and I saw the dentist...I've spent DAYS with a major abscess after my very THOROUGH cleaning. I seem to have "stuffed" something unfamiliar into my gum line and then felt like crap all week. Doing much better tonight.

I know there are mixed emotions about the VK gathering next week, but TRUST ME, having immediate family for a holiday is a memorable thing...in the long run you'll treasure it! Next Thursday will be John's and my very first EVER, since we were together for the past 39 years, Thanksgiving alone. Frankly, not an event to celebrate. I'm just glad he's gonna be here with me.

Not a whole lot going on...the gremlins haven't come back since late last month...or they haven't let me know they're here. A photo of GW would have scared ANYone. Cookies weren't a bad idea either. It's kind of sad that Palin is gone. She was SO EASY to focus on.

Jess and Tommy and the Frankie girl will be here for Christmas and I'm just ELATED! The holidays seem to have crept up on me without my early warning devices in place. I've always LIVED for Christmas. Guess I'm kind of slowly becoming accustomed to less.

You are going to be the best EVER cruise director if we can just eliminate "Julie". Any ideas? The abscess is feeling better and I can sneak into town whenever you suggest to help with that matter. I love you and Sean lots and I wish I had more interesting stuff to send. Have a fabulous Thanksgiving...and try to enjoy that "day after" with your Mom and your traditions!

Ma

Lookie Lookie!!!

Greetings to one and all!!  I've missed you more than you know, I've also missed this site. I can check on it once in awhile, if I only have a moment, but if I plan on writing, well, Miss Wordy Words, needs some time.

First, mom, either put a poster of Georgie boy outside to scare them off or put out a plate of cookies and make friends. Keep the doors locked. I know it's not ideal. But it beats hiding in the bathroom. Have they been back? Maybe they were just bored and wanted to cause mischief on someone and are done. I hope so. Sean and I will come out and kick ass if needed.

Sean and I have become tutors. John, you are tremendous, underpaid, under appreciated, and all the other stuff said about teachers. Betty is 38 and dropped out of school before she finished 8Th grade. It's been a little hard trying to find out where she is, what she knows and how to teach her what she needs for her GED in a way she can understand it. We've been working on math for the past couple of months and Sean has been great. We were working on the beginning of word problems awhile ago.  The problem dealt with a car going 60 mph for 30 minutes and then 30 mph for 60 minutes, how far did they go? (or something to that affect). She couldn't grasp it. After about 15 minutes we realized she didn't understand that if you're speedometer is glued at 60 for 60 minutes you've gone 60 miles. She didn't know the mph on your car was miles per hour, so no wonder the problem made no sense to her. So we have to figure out what she understands hopefully before we confuse her later on, and find a way to explain it in a more simplified manner. We were going to start on English as well but I think we need to stop for awhile.  I made some flash cards with fractions and percentages hoping this will help. I don't know how to explain that $.25 is 1/4 and .25 and 25%. So hopefully the flash cards will help. 

I have a new label at work.  I did activities Monday.  I was really nervous because I'd never done it or hardly seen it done. Basically in charge of keeping the little people busy and happy. Pretty much I was Julie the cruise director for the day.  I did exercises, fancy nails, some kind of concert with the high school seniors and a couple other little things.  I loved it!! If the girl in charge of Life Enrichment ever leaves, I want that job!  I got paid all day to play. I talked to people, told jokes, screwed up exercises but we got them done and had a ball! I have found my calling! What a freakin job to have. I'm sure that there's more to it, paperwork, scheduling the outside entertainment and making the schedule for the month, but still. Sounds great.

I think I'll end this on a high note and sign off now.  Life is good (at least for now), Obama won and more importantly, Palin did not! Job is okay, I love my husband and he loves me, the kids are all fine (Fig is coughing a bit more but that's to be expected with the heart issue, we just make sure we love him every single day we can) and I just got a phone call from mom that they will be down here for Thanksgiving (I'm not sure if that's good or not yet, still mixed on that one.  Very high maintenance are my parents.) 

So on that note, love to you all, big kisses and hugs!

Just me

My big buddy left about ten minutes ago. Seems as though THIS year is worse for both of us. At least compared to the previous three or four. In two short days the forecast will change. Wednesday morning I KNOW I'll wake up to a candidate who lost even though he won popular/and/or electoral votes; disputed counts of all sorts predicated on, not hanging chards again, but reports of stuffed ballot boxes, voters being abducted while waiting in line to cast support, or Joe the plumber as the write-in Presidential winner who named Sara Palin as his VP. Despite ALL the apprehension, I wouldn't miss voting for anything.

Jess, I liked the premise of YOUR bad movie way more than my own video experience. You told me to avoid M. Night's newest flick but Dad rented it anyway. I applaud his resolve, after one of the BEST endings ever in The Sixth Sense, deciding to take the safe road and provide no conclusion whatsoever in The Happening. At least pissed off rabid-but-undying dogs offer's up lots of potential for exciting endings.

Most of all I applaud the girl with ten classes left to go and FINALLY getting into that long-sought ceramics class. I couldn't be more proud of you. Your resolve, endless work (both at school and the Humane Society) and the fact that you did it ALL yourself while maintaining a GPA other students would hack University computers to claim as their own. You're teetering between Magna and Summa at this point...there's no place higher to go!! I DO question your choice of artists though. Did your chosen subject do craft shows that most of us missed? Starving Artists group? Where'd you FIND him?????

You can tell me all about him Wednesday. I'm planning to get to the farm house around 4 p.m. Dad and I will both be out of your hair early Friday morning. Oh YEAH, we're finally taking the big purple barge back with us.

Not a lot going on. Aunt Pam and Tim will be here Saturday afternoon. I know it'll be great to see them again.

Love to all, Ma

Hey to all

Well, ma, at least you've made friends!!! It actually COULD be worse, though. I saw a horrible movie the other night about four lonely friends stranded on an island with genetically altered dogs who were injected with a form of rabies which didn't kill them, but made them very, very angry. So there ya go.... just stay away from the kennel down the valley, would ya? I don't have a lot of time as I am writing a very scholarly paper on the influence of 17th century Dutch painting on a horribly obscure American painter named Enoch Wood Perry. I apparently like painfully difficult subjects for research papers. However, you'll be pleased to know that I'm doing pretty well this semester (that is, of course, until I turn this paper in) and that I'll be taking my first ceramics class next semester. Also, I have a total of ten classes left to take. All praise Allah.... there is light at the end of the tunnel!!! I love you all and ma, don't give up hope... soon dad will be up there with you and you can pick on him ALL of the time. He he he. Jess

It's Been More than two weeks!

Happy Halloween GIRLS!

Got to tell you, for someone with no job, prospects or friends here in the north country, my life's STILL pretty exciting!

Way back here, in this isolated spot where I live, I've made a ghostly friend. He, she, it, them (or all of the above) come up on my front porch around quarter to ten at night and start ringing my doorbell. My friend (s) left after 11 p.m. when I called the police. But it's been dark for awhile now and I'm guessing I won't be alone too much longer.

Everyone wants to be noticed and I feel SO much better knowing I'm being watched and having attention paid! As Charlie Brown always said "Good Grief"! I've really tried to make friends here and by God, now I've got one!!

Here's hoping it's Obama and in HIS economy I can finally get the hell out of Dodge and back to civilization in the years I still have going for me. Rarely are our mistakes as GLARING as moving here has become. There aren't any kids within miles of this place. This isn't a Halloween prank. John hopes it's a short in the doorbell and it simply "rings". I'd be far more inclined to buy that one if it rang during the daylight and not way after dark, over and over, after waiting 15 minutes to an hour to start again. Are electrical shorts photo sensitive? I'm not an expert here. I've never been skiddish...don't sleep with lights on, inside or out. But this isn't fun.

Oh well. Any thoughts? NEVER think that things can't get worse. At least not out loud.

Love to all, Ma

Word from the "boobs"

Sorry to tell you, little one, I wasn't as impressed with Barry Avedon's work as he seemed to be! Unless this is a DIFFERENT Avedon?

I was tethered to the TV tonight and am still attached to CNN...I'm gonna miss this event when it's over. How could ANYONE truly listen and not hear the dodges avoiding answering direct questions?

Just four years ago I'd have voted for John McCain. Maybe it was out of respect for his POW and family staus. I feel like I know him better now and I'm simply not as impressed as I'd hoped I'd be.

As for the boobs...seems as though the phrase "much ado about nothing" applies to the poor bumps. Shouldn't you at least be able to celebrate the true WONDER of preserved items? Oh well. For something so damned insignificant, that silly Cancer sure becomes the great levelor, doesn't it? I think having you here Jess would be GREAT impetus for driving into TC...that would be somewhere around October 8, 2009. And too, that would be the 15 year anniversary....?

Love you lots guys, Ma

Good news!

Who's cancer free for another year??? Who's that? JUDY!!!!

Yay to those nasty little white blood cells who are no longer attacking the rest of your blood cells!! Yay to the hospital who managed to get you good news faster than predicted!!

And what is the lesson we learned for next year? Traverse City? Yeah? Or maybe you just come back down here so we can get a better look at Avedon's work? heh heh heh.

That's (not really mine, but what the hell) the good news for today....

I love you all, especially my mom's healthy boobs.

The kid.

Lori and I THANK YOU CUCCA

Providing a "vent space" was a GREAT idea Jess. Obviously you know us all well. And, too, we're anxious to hear from our 'Founder'.

R Vs W will get me going too, Lori. Just the very thought of losing that inroad terrifies the life out of me. I'd suggest moving north but there's truly NO assurance you'll ever meet kindred spirits here (unless you move in with John and me).

Three weeks from election. Gosh. Gee whiz. Where DOES she buy her glasses frames??? I DO feel better knowing there's a firm base beneath the chosen followers though. Or is that above them? Obviously there's a base at SOME location.

SEAN? LORI? We've ALL given you so many thoughts on the name of that car...how can she still be traveling through the neighborhood without a handle? Next blog around I totally insist that you've settled on her designation. Tommy drives Buck; Jess is in Joe Junior and I trust my Gypsy. Even Jas has a vanity plate announcing the departure (assuming you're reading the plate) MNY PIT. Think that's it, but you get the point.

Jess, Janie is coming over for wine and cheese and maybe a pajama party, depending on how much of the former, tomorrow. Tom Marshall defaulted on the kitties in his house in a most apalling way and the dinner we shared at the Cabbage Shed Saturday night found Janie unable to even speak to him. Generations of kitties have departed the Marshall home and he is now down to only one, courtesy of the cat door to the outside. Something about traffic AND coyotes. Multiple troubles for kitties in the north. IF there's a cat door. Doesn't it make you wish you could electrically shock your kitties into staying in your yard? Sorry. I told Janie I wouldn't tell you because you had already formed an opinion when Tom wouldn't accept Jean and Janie's offers (and your own) to spay and neuter those kitties for free. As evil as Aggie is I'd never in my life wish the kind of neglect that's available out there on her. She's never bitten me and I sure don't plan to bite her.

I'm totally in the market for some wonderful news. Not just sure where I'm going to find it but I plan to dredge some great information up from whatever depths they're bury'd.

I love all of you guys. Please, keep in contact. Ma

Thanks!

Thanks to the both of you Mama Judy and Sister Jess.  I guess I feel that the "cool kids" feel they have some kind of cool club and anyone can join.  You just need to hang your own beliefs, thoughts, ideas and individualism on the coat rack at the door. Never again to think independently. I sent y'all an email I received on Sarah Palin, I'm not pressing my election thoughts, just like debating. The first person to respond was......Stacey.  Jess, you remember Stacey don't you? Alan's wife. Sigh. The perfect example of the phrase, "Having a battle of the wits with an unarmed person"  She copied and pasted this whole page on abortion, describing each part of the process, describing the different types, stories from abortion survivors and then about 1/2 dozen bible verses. Nowhere in her response were there any thoughts of her own about Palin. She is focusing her vote soly on abortion issues. Screw the economy, health care or bail outs. Palin is against abortion, Obama is pro choice. Her decision is made. People like this terrify the shit out of me. When has a personal opinion on abortion come up in the White House with Regan, Bush, Clinton or Dubya? Did I miss a news conference one day where major decisions were based on this belief? 

I'm glad I don't go to church. I have my beliefs, some I think are fear based. Don't renounce anything, you never know. I really do hate that, almost seems hypocritical which is one thing I absolutely abhor with religious pious people. 

Well, that's about all with my sermon on the mount! 

I love you all and thank you for letting me vent and think out loud. Hope all is well with everyone.  

The as yet still unnamed old lady car is out and somewhat driving.  We took it around the block as mosquito patrol. Needs a new ball joint and the juices flushed. We'll see what else after that. Sounds really cool!!

Have a great week everyone!

View from the hill

That's a VERY tiny take off on the Sermon on the Mount...I doubt I created much confusion.

Note to Lori: I agree completely with everything Jess had to say to you. Hopefully that point made it through my convoluted blog a while back.

Note to Jess: Thank you for listening all those years. Hopefully watching reinforced a little too. You are the most amazing legacy I could have hoped to create. It's fascinating to me that Lori and Tommy were raised in a 'church' environment and took away from that the same lessons Jess and Jas were given in a completely non-congregational setting. It's always seemed far more affirmative for me to try to live by the golden rule because it is the right thing and because I selected it as the 'right thing.' I didn't need a group of same thinking people around me for encouragement.

I sort of think that maybe what you guys took away from your parents may well have been a sense of human morality and the knowledge that you had the personal freedom to choose. I've always known, Lori, that your Mom and Dad had a need for and enjoyed being a part of the congregation, and too, what the "group" had to say. But they've NEVER been preachy with John and I. And I sure don't see your Mom as any sort of unopinionated shrinking violet. I get a sense from her that she values the ability to choose (at least in SOME things).

I know she wasn't too thrilled about cohabitating without the proper ID and I may have mentioned something to the effect that "you never really KNOW someone until you've lived with them first." So we obviously disagree on some things but I think we may have more similarities than even Elaine knows. Lori you make your own decisions and they're always based on kindness, morality, and total willingness to step up to the plate for the needs of others. Somehow you managed to leave a home steeped in organized religion with the most important and true tenets of "religion." And Jess, you totally GOT IT too, without the organization. Maybe we shouldn't ignore the very real fact that BOTH of you girls choose to be caregivers because it's your very nature to be that. None of your parents taught you those attributes. You guys came out of the chute already preformed with your own sense of morality.

Tabula rasa is a GREAT theory but you girls are the exceptions that prove the theory wrong. Teaching by words and example may be reinforcing, but for those born without a heart, there's nothing to reinforce. And walking your own path sure isn't always as much fun as filling a football field with a few of your closest friends all shouting the same slogans.

OK. That's the view from the hill. Not sure I'm getting a lot of support from above though. Just heard some thunder joining the downpour.

And I'm not ignoring the recipe exchange. I'm just a little technically challenged.

Love you guys, Ma

Child of heathens

Lori.... how I love you. I think you and Sean are two of the most decent, hard working, honest people I know. To me, that is more "god like" than the vast majority of the church goers I know. In my world, the way you live your life, the things you do in this life, prove who you are and where you belong in the afterlife, if there is one. I may not have been raised to believe in a higher power, but I was raised with morals and a knowledge that you were to treat people as you expected to be treated yourself. There are a ton of things that the bible tells us that should be meant for all people, not just those who go to church on holidays and pray for forgiveness instead of actually doing something to make this world a better place. Every day you go to work you are making a difference in many people's lives just with your spirit and dedication. You don't have to work where you're working, you chose to work there. And it is in that choice that you prove that you are indeed a better person and that you have respect for human suffering. You do your part to make those people's lives better, not only the people you meet at work, but everyone around you. To me, that is living to a higher standard and there is no need for prayer or reflection.... you're living by god's rules. You and Sean give much more than you often have to give.... isn't that an example of how the bible asks us how to live? I don't know.... prayer and being saved aren't my thing and I know you and Tom were raised to live by those rules. It's something that has always made me feel like I was a bad influence on Tom. I can only hope that my own behavior, minus that horrible potty mouth I seem to have acquired over the last few years, is good enough to make the Van clan feel comfortable that I'm not a heathen myself. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I have read just about every religious text there is to read in my own search for "what it all means" and they all say the same thing. Be good, do good and always be honest with yourself and others. Don't need to believe in god, krishna, mohammad or the buddah to do those things. Just do em! That's you my friend. It's who you are and you did that yourself. Enough from this corner of the world, may I not be struck down by lightning now.

Love to all, Jess

The Most Northern Heathen

Hello my precious family,

Lori, Jess, I don't know how you girls DO what you do. You are both so very critical to the comfort of so many. And often, you have to watch as those you care for and about fail.

As for the 'heathen' thing...guess I was instrumental in raising a pair of those. It's just so hard to be at all pragmatic and make promises about the supernatural.

I've been an agnostic all my life...a gutless wonder afraid to commit to not committing...you know...just in case. I have always, and will to my death, believe in the 'golden rule'. Surprisingly the "do onto others" tenant is planet wide and found in every single religion, regardless of indoctrination. I loathe 'organized' religion, ALWAYS because of the people who claim to be so very pious.

Lori. OH LORI. Anyone as caring as you, Sean, Jess and Tommy couldn't possibly be on any sort of 'wrong track' caring about life as you all do. I have immense faith. ALL of it is in the likes of the precious people I love, at least those who would never harm or ruin another. Today was my Mom's 91st Birthday. We had a long history of calling each other and singing, HORRIBLY, happy birthday to each other. I've sung to my parents' every year since they died, on their day. My Dad wasn't always a nice person. But I sing to him too. Jason's birthday is Wednesday, and I'll sing to him. The point is, Lori, that everyone we know and even wish wonders for, don't always earn that distinction. As long as you and I know that we've only wished well and never, once, intentionally hurt anyone...isn't that supposed to be what 'heaven' is about?

There's also this other part of me that's sort of "Jerry McGuire" in nature. Wasn't "show me the money" synonymous with "show me the love?" If you can't 'show me the money' (heaven?) than shouldn't it be ONLY about 'show me the love?' At least we can KNOW love.

Oh well. I despise organized religion. It truly requires the very worst of the zealots who profess to belong. Group mentality. Mob ethics. Isn't it just so much more difficult to walk the road alone? Guess we're somewhat more accountable if we acted alone and without 'sanction.'

Not everyone DOES need or want a hug from strangers. And I SURE don't need 'prayers' for my deliverance from people who know nothing about me or my motives and intentions. Isn't it always about 'who you know'...if you don't know 'God' personally, you DO seem to be !#%&*!, eh?

Got to go. I think there's a sea to part or someone who needs to find my little body in the bullrushes. I have worlds to save and tablets to dispurse...maybe even a chalice to pour my "box-O wine" into. The Free Masons have been looking for me.

Sure glad your parents can't see this Lori. Think that would be the end of my name on the Christmas card list. Love you guys immensely. That's one helluva job you and Sean have taken on...you absolutely stepped "up to the plate" with this effort!

Wish I had a genuine opinion....Ma

Ramblings of a Heathen

Hello my family!  No real giant reasons for not posting lately, I don't have a full full time job and school, nor do I have a full time school job and a commute, nor do I make really cool slot cars for fun and profit, just stupid stuff busy. 

 I've been working a lot and next week will be trained to be a meds RA.  That way, after my shift of cooking, I can go shower some people, wipe some bottoms, then give them their meds.  No pay increase for the added trust/responsibility of meds, but it will open the door for more hours and on my resume it will show the whole trust/responsibility thing. Right?  

Sean and I have been babysitting a 10 year old for a woman I work with. She's 46 and has decided to go get her ged but almost quit (after I pushed her to go for it) because her other child, a boy/child of 18 who is mentally challenged couldn't watch Sandy while Betty was at school. Betty would come home at 9:00 or so and Sandy's outside riding her bike and such. I guess she's already had dhs called on her (don't know why) but she had to have Sandy more supervised than the boy could do. So I figured that instead of just giving lip service I'd step up to the plate. Sigh, she's a handful. Steals candy, hides candy she doesn't like under the couch. Lies, won't talk unless the mood strikes her, but loves Sean to death. Dad isn't around, don't know the full story, so I think she has daddy issues. She took to him like a duck to water. Things are going to be shaken up a bit Monday when she comes back over. I'll be at work when Betty and Sandy come over but Sean plans on "talking" to Sandy and Betty knows it. He's laying down ground rules harder than I did. With her needing a male role model, maybe she'll listen more after she gets down pouting.  Betty has started calling Sean with progress reports on Sandy's school work. I thought we were just free babysitters. I figure Sean will put his foot down when he's had enough. He's not one to be shy about saying no when the time comes. Until then, we'll help out someone. God knows she needs a hand.

Been working on sewing some purses for Christmas from patterns my mom sent. I quilt, yes with a machine, but good lord, this is killing me. I've ripped so many seams my seam ripper is dull. Think if I buy one and rip the label out she'd know??? It feels like a chore as of right now, when it feels like that, it's not any fun.  I've walked away from it a million times now.  I think I'll just have to tell her I suck at this and I'm happy in that position. 

One of our little people died the other day. Very sad for the family. I didn't know him all that well, he and his wife had only been there about a month and he started going downhill soon after they moved in. Pretty hard getting attached to them and they have to go and die on you. I had been taking courtesy trays to the family last week and then the morning he died I took a larger one. Some other RA's went with me to the apartment and were giving hugs and saying they'd pray for them and he's in heaven and all that. I just set up my tray, told them I was sorry for their loss and we left. On the way back to the kitchen they were asking me why I didn't hug them or say I'd pray for them. I told them not everyone wants to be hugged, noticed, remembered, thought of, yes, but not always hugged by people who are basically strangers. I didn't tell them I'd pray for them because I didn't want to give a hollow promise because I may not pray for them. Turned into a whole religious discussion in which I told them I didn't think it was the time or place for a round table discussion on my beliefs and what I believed in doesn't affect how I do my job which is what I was there for. Goodness, the way they looked at me you'd have thought I shat on their feet. I don't know what I believe in anymore.  It's a collection, collaboration, a mishmash if you will of ideas, events and beliefs. Am I a good person?  I think so.  Will I go to heaven? Don't know, if there is one, I guess I hope so. Do I believe in Hell?  Sure, it's on this plane and in this place we call life. How do we know we're not in hell as we speak and heaven is a wishful thinking of "I don't want to be here", or the grass is always greener syndrome.  I'm sure they'll corner me and witness to me sooner or later. It's like the girl at colonial hills. She came to me and told me she felt led to pray for me, my friend from high school that I was just reunited with had died of a leukemia meant for older people, I told her that would be very nice. So she starts to pray, stops and says, before I can pray for you I need to know if you're saved. So let me get this right, you won't pray for my pain, suffering and for peace if I'm a heathen in your eyes? I don't deserve relief, love, friendship if I don't believe what you do? I was so disgusted but at the same time so dumbfounded I didn't respond. Just turned around and went back to work. I believe in God I guess, just not His followers. Possibly....does that make sense??

So sorry to ramble on. I guess I don't post because I don't think I have anything to say, and then I post and things just fall out of my brain. I love you all if you've made is this far and appreciate your patience, thanks for letting me blabber. I'll try and post more frequently, but I can't promise they'll be short either!!!! At least you'll have bedtime reading set up for you!

Love to all!!!

You're not alone in the world, kidlet

My poor little one...wish I could tell you that life in 30 years will be so much simpler. Today Dad took the sliding door out of the doorwall in the kitchen so that I could (after two years) finally get three coats of paint on the one section of doorwall that I could never reach. WOW, does it ever look wonderful now that it's done. Started raining fairly hard about 8 p.m. so we got the doorwall back together.

Dad spent the day cutting grass, edging, mowing with the hand mower and finally beginning to put summer lawn stuff away (sniff). I made us a fairly elaborate meal from scratch! Other than eggs I don't do 'scratch' during the week. I also have a GREAT start on the remaining 8 feet of mosaic tile backsplash I'd managed to cover up for years.

BEST NEWS YET! Dad made the rubber mold of our slot car and uncorked him about 7:15 p.m. The mold is perfect! He's been out in the garage with the resin, casting our all time first slot car. We don't know what'll happen yet, but we DO appear to have a potential source of new income. I've got to start carving on Zoomy Two. I'm going to finish the tiles in this kitchen before I start anything else. Not that most people would notice, but there's still a bunch of stuff to do on this floor to finish it. It seems like a really positive thing to do to get everything done here so that, economy willing (can WE get a bailout here????), the other house will finally sell and life can finally begin.

Not much other news. We went to TC yesterday with a list we were pretty good about sticking to...no choice. Housepayment week. Had great food at the pub next to Wilson's Antiques. First dinner out in well over a month. Somehow it means more when you don't do it often! Gas is 'down' to $3.83 a gallon. What a treat, eh?

God knows we're not exciting. But at 61, breathing is GOOD! Wore new clothes to TC Jess. Sure does make me feel special and refreshed. You guys hit a homerun on my Birthday!

Love to all of you, Ma

Am I awake?

So here's my week so far....

Monday: school and then homework for five hours. Eat, bed.

Tuesday: work for 12 hours, school for three, eat, bed.

Wednesday: school and then homework for five hours. Eat, bed.

Thursday: work for 12 hours. Say screw it to homework. Internet, soon to eat and then bed.

Friday: sleep in and pretend I don't have a job, bills or responsibility of any kind. Not really... projected forecast for Friday: work for 12 hours, homework, eat, bed.

repeat until Sunday when I plan to clean the house, do laundry and clean cat boxes.... then homework, eat, bed.

Is this all of the fun I can expect to have in my thirties? Really? Poor Tom is probably thinking that I forgot about him..... arghh.... why did I decide to go back to school? And when will work slow down????? Arghh.....

Mom, I got your card today. Thank you for the thank you, silly lady. It was OLD NAVY for pete's sake!! Thank you guys for letting us cover your house in black dog hair!

Lori.... how are you guys? What's shaking in Tennessee? Since I so rarely see my Tommy and have an actual conversation with him, I haven't gotten any Lori updates from him. I hope you guys are well!

OK, enough complaining. At least it's still 80 degrees out and my plants are the happiest they've been all summer. It just took fall to make it happen! I love you all! Jess

Thank you my Sweet Girl

You're the best kid ever, Lori. Thank you so much for your efforts. I printed your posting out to always remind me of the intent you offered up as a birthday gift and how important your work has been for me. Got to hug your brother in real time this weekend. Not only were the kids here but brought me the most amazing gifts. Extravagant is the only way to describe my birthday with John, Jess and Tommy (and of course, my granddog).

Only negative that eats at me is Jason. I'm sure he's not doing well and none of us are enjoying his absence either. Just wish he could be happy because when HE isn't, no one else is either. Oh well. As long as I've got you, Sean, John, Jess and the wonderful Tommy, life is good.

I love you tons girl. Take care of yourselves. My life is pretty small and those involved ALL must be well! Ma

Greetings Birthday Mamma!

Looked all day yesterday for the perfect ecard for you. Found it then went to bed because I didn't know where my card was from my camera.  Found it today, got a picture of you to put in the card, lost the ecard I was going to send. Refound it, ready to load picture of you and John on card, giggling cause it was a good card and DAMMIT!! Jibjab now wants money. Stupid people. So I hope you had a freakin good day cause you were thought about!!!

Love you

News from the North

OK. I'll get the bad news out of the way fast...WORST news; Juana's not coming. First reaction was tears. Second reaction was the same.

We (John and I) got up Thursday morning after 3 1/2 hours sleep and drove to Manistee to set up a show in a space no one had described beforehand. A difficult process at best. We sold $45 worth of merchandise, spent $20 on the pre-ordered sandwiches, used $21 worth of gas and were surprised to find we were expected to donate an item valued between $30-$100. I'd LOVE to say it was a wash but in truth it was more like a drowning. ALL the reasons we haven't done a show in five years came flooding back. Stupid as we are we actually began discussions on how to improve sales at future shows...early onset Alzheimers? John thinks I should sign up for the Holly Berry show in Frankfort Thanksgiving weekend. Every single time we've done a show I go in believing we'll make money. The outcome is ALWAYS the same, yet I keep believing.

Jess, Juana is planning a party to introduce Doug on October 25. She wants you and Tommy to come and hopes to invite your brother, Aunt Sue and Tom and George. Do you have Georgie's email address? I can email Juana the snail mail addresses just to be safe. Dad and I won't be able to come.

OK. The good news. I was saving this for last so that you'd remember it first! Of course, I didn't win any money at the juried show. But we went to the reception last night and they had a pretty nice booklet of the show info which we brought home.

Artists were invited to submit two pieces and several Northern Counties were included for this "Fourth All-Media Juried Art Competition." I submitted my two, perhaps just a little cocky that this was a rubby-dub show and everyone would be accepted. I was VERY surprised (and pleased) to read that 74 artists entered the competition, offering 139 works of art in a variety of media. Only 31 artists were selected and 39 pieces of art exhibited by those 31. One hundred pieces were rejected. I was shocked. I was only one of five artists included in the exhibition who had two pieces accepted.

This has given me the confidence to join the Art Center and begin teaching woodcarving classes again. I can't find any other viable work up here and I always made good money teaching. We decided last night to start classes with shorebirds. We can draw both men and women with that particular subject matter and hopefully I'll make enough money with the first class (which they can accomplish with just an exacto knife) to place that $500 wholesale order for carving tools to resell to students for more advanced classes.

I've got a big tile project to finish for the bar downstairs this week. I started this project in the Winter of 2005 and it'll be GREAT to see it completely finished (even if the bar isn't). Little house was shown for the very first time yesterday. Been on the market (THIS year) for the third year and since April 1. Haven't heard any feedback. I reran the numbers and decided that we can drop as far down as $55,000 and still survive...can't believe that price when the original price was lowered from $94,000 to our initial "sale" price of $84,900 just three years ago. Absolutely reeks of desperation, doesn't it?

Hummers have been gone for two days now. It's sad. We love those little guys. They'll be back in April '09. I'll leave the nectar out for a few days yet, but we have't seen any activity since Thursday.

Sorry to be far more newsy than funny. I haven't written for a while and thought you were probably JONESING for a categorical accounting of my life!

I'll turn 61 this coming Friday. Doesn't hurt a bit if John, Jess and Tommy are here to visit me.

Love to all of you. Ma

How kemosabe

What exactly is pulled pork?

Need to know and until I do, I have nothing else to say.

Here I Am Back Home Again

Well the first week of school with kids is over. Seem to have a great group this year. Classes are kind of big in numbers. But I only have two preps this year which is far different than the 3 or 4 that I have had in the past. Guess they are giving the old guy a break.

Today started off rainy but turned into a great sunny cool day. Not much color in the trees yet. Just along the road. Had a whole herd of turkey up by the garage earlier today.

The mom and I went to the Bensie Eat Fest for dinner. Had lots of good food. Sat by the bay and had ribs, pizza, crab cakes, some kind of rice dish, A and W root beer floats and Jessie I know this would be a hit with you, pulled pork sloppy joes. In just awhile I'm going to top the whole thing off with cherry pie and icecream. Yummmmmmmmy!

Mom and I cut the wood for the new tile grouping, I picked some tomatoes and squash. Going to wash the car in the morning, read the paper and have one of mom's good home cooked meals and watch a movie before I head back down below. Probably should make that trip on foot after alllll that eating. Oh did one other thing, made up some business cards for mom to pass out at the art show this Thursday. Tubby Tommy Boy sents his love to alll.

First day of school

Well, hello.... made it through my first day of school, again. Not too much has changed except I found a building on campus which I had no idea existed and was introduced to my brother's doppelganger. I have been assured that my supplies for my studio class won't cost over $200.... now THAT'S a relief. Couldn't find one of my books at any of the three campus bookstores and am planning on finding it on Amazon, or murdering the teacher, whichever comes first.

It's hot as hell here, literally. I have realized that my car is actually a toaster oven in disguise. There's something wrong with the exhaust which causes the driver's side to heat up in a most uncomfortable manner. Hey, if I sell it, I can advertise that it has heated seats! Now there's a positive in a world of crap.

Unfortunately I don't have much time here. I have to run out and spend a few more hundred dollars on art supplies and books before I get caught in rush hour traffic in the little red toaster oven....
love to all, Jess

Here I Am

Well I got home around 5 on Thursday. Friday morning we dropped off mom's art work for the contest. I'll let her tell you more about that. We then headed out to Empire for dinner. Stopped at some art gallery type places and one very cool antique shop. Owned by a very interesting English guy. Had a nice chat with him and then headed home. Stopped at Otter lake along the way. Very hot here the past two days. And will stay that way throuogh Tuesday. The ground is very dried out and things are looking brown around here.

The other big event of the past three days is that Tigger spent part of Saturday evening out on the back deck. Mom found her when she was cleaning brushes at the sink and saw a strange animal on the back deck that turned out to be Tigger. This is Tigger's second escape into the great outdoors this summer. Quite the little adventure cat. Love to all, The I don't Want To Head Down State Boy

Stand Proud Snooty

You are the wonderful Snooty Dippindunkin married to the ever wonderful Fluffy Dippindunkin. I, being Dorfus Frickenbutt married Snickle Frickenbutt. Mom and Dad are Cheesey and Farcus Wafflehump.  You're inlaws are Dipsy and Crusty Dippindunkin but Crusty goes by her middle name Snickle.  Got that all now? There will be a test later.

Who am I?

Have no idea who I am or who I'm married to. Snooty, Fluffy, tweetie bird and Snuffalupagus all say hi.

As for animal related crap. That was standard issue adopter information. I couldn't care less if Roxy and Fig were eating entire deer carcases. I was in a sarcastic and contrary mood and that was the result. Geez, the people across the street had a dead goat in their yard and I didn't do anything about that, I'm certainly not about to call anyone on the most pampered pooches in Tennessee. Feed em whatever you want. Geez.

I'm done, cashed, exhausted. Have nothing else to say. Night.

Wish it wasn't so...

There's something inherently sad about Fluffy being truly Fluffy...Sleezy was SO VERY MUCH more macho! Maybe Tommy will get "reader's cramp" before he makes it this far in the blog?????

Love you tons girl...despite the fact that you put a price tag on caring for my ancient carcus. Farcus/carcus. HE'LL take care of me for free! I HOPE. I made tiles all day for the upcoming show September 11. I'm completely certain this show will net as much profit as the craft parts of YOUR gathering and the contributions at the Humane Society. But there's that endless optimism that "maybe THIS time."

Heading for the Democratic Convention on TV. Want to hear what the Hilary has to say on behalf of her advisary (and TO Mr. McCain for using her primary words against her in those new commercials). Lots of curiosity here. Be well until tomorrow.

Love to ALL the crazy people who read this insane missive! Ma

Long live Fluffy!

Fluffy it is. Fluffy it shall be.  Poor Fluffy though, last time I talked to him he was reading the blog, but starting at the very begining. So by the time he get here, it should be a big surprise that he's been discussed so much.

I bet you already miss Farcus. Hang tight Miss Cheesey, just know you are loved by all of us and Farcus will never be far. Only by miles that separate us are we alone.

I love you!!

Love you Dorfus

As I emailed you, I'm hoping that Thomas equals Fluffy...SO DAMNED less forgiving than "Sleezy". Got to go back and check. If the boy is going to sneak around and view peeks he's got to live up to his true name....here's HOPING!

I WAY prefer Cheesey to Fluffy. POOR Tommy! Farcus is safe at the farmhouse. Wish we were ALL there, dogs and all, together. That would be the best of the best! Can't believe the Cucca is Snooty...well, if you count opinionated (which is one of her most ENDEARING qualities!) I'm so incredibly fortunate to have all of you in my life. Don't even have a clue what I'd do without you!

You make me wake up in the morning and believe there's a future. Love, Ma

*sighing*

You're right mama Chessy.  As usual.  I'm sorry sister Snooty.  Snickle sends his love to all. Hope Farcus made it in alright.

Love all you weirdos!

xoxo

Dorfus

P.S. Isn't Snooty's husband actually named Sleezy? I think it might be.

The Voice of Reason Referees

Okay Dorfus Frickenbutt...time to make peace with Snooty Dippendunkin. Advice will NEVER be accepted by either of you until you acknowledge who you TRULY ARE! And as difficult as the first sentence may be to accept, Tommy's NOT going to freely admit that "Snooty's" husband is named "Fluffy Dippendunkin." (Wait 'til Farcus gets ahold of THAT information!)

You'd better start reading those emails Jess. They're LOADED with info you couldn't have acquired anywhere else. Trust me, the one and only Cheesey Wafflehump.

No more pet discussions Dorfus and Snooty. Obviously you're too protective of your parenting skills to engage in a productive dialogue! Love you both. Fluffy too. John/Farcus should be rolling in within the next hour. Take good care of him? I'm sort'a attached to the old fart.

More when I get my new "single" life in order here. Ma

Good Lord Jessica!!!!

Where in the world did I list that I have been exclusively feeding my dogs peeled grapes non stop on silver trays??????????? Poor Roxy would be dead by now, Fig would be...well hell, he'd be just fine. And Roxy has been sick only ONCE in the two and a half years we've had her. The only people food they get is rice with chicken or egg (cooked egg mind you, can't have the babies getting salmonella) and fish mixed with rice. NO RED MEAT. And I don't believe she got sick off the fish because she'd eaten it before and our vet said it was okay. My god, if they were real children you would have called Department of Human Services by now wouldn't you? I do love you though and the puppies love you as well.  I also appreciate and respect all the knowledge you've shared in the past and more than likely some panicy phone calls in the futue, must go, have chores to do. Now to go outside and spread that new cocoa mulch I bought...............

Oh, by the way.  I take offense to the homemade crap line. I happen to be planning on doing homemade crap instead of what anyone really wanted anyhow. Did you peek at my list?  In all seriousness, I love homemade crap (damn fingers keep wanting to spell carp!) and whatever my Jess should make would have a place of honor! If she hasn't disowned me by now that is. 

Holy crap, what have I missed?!?

Geez, I'm glad I'm so up on my blogging!

Lori.... while dog carcasses are not a problem immediately, STOP FEEDING THEM GRAPES! Dogs can not digest the skins on grapes, raisins, prunes... and there is a chemical in them that is toxic to dogs. Your description of Roxy as hamster was delightful though. As an "animal care professional" (my politically correct title) I would suggest ceasing and desisting from feeding them people food at all. Fig can clearly handle it but Roxy has a wee, tender little digestive system and seems to tell you about it from time to time with her vomiting and poo problems. Unseasoned chicken (boneless), turkey (boneless) and burger are cool, bread is ok, rice rocks, lots of veggies are ok but the vast majority of people food will F up a dog's day if they eat it. That's just my word on doggie diet.... for now, stop the grape diet, tis no good for em. K, my lecture is over. Oh, one final word..... a major part of the no human food is to keep a dog's weight down cause it stresses both internal functions as well as adds weight to their frame, bad for hips and joints. For bigger dogs, this is a bigger problem. For the teeny canines who inhabit your home, not such a huge problem, but you still gotta watch weight gain anyhew.

That's just the speech I would give an adopter, and it's what we do with Frankie. Remember, though, that Frankie is a different dog. She's 50 pounds, has three legs and both back hips are dysplastic. She has arthritis in her front ankle. She has chronic pee problems because through some miracle she fell into the one tenth of ALL bloody dogs who are spayed before their first heat who end up with girl parts in the wrong place to fully expel the pee, thereby ASKING bacteria to collect there and cause pee problems. She was also a puppy who begged for food, and Tom and I hated that particular personality trait and decided not to ever offer her people food to keep her from doing it. And it worked for her. You and Sean have raised your dogs well and can give em whatever ya want, just nix the grapes, anything from the grape family and no more chocolate. While a small bit of chocolate may not kill them, it's one of those things that you just never know about. If the level of highly caffeinated baker's chocolate in the piece your giving them is too high, you may be in trouble. That being said, two years ago my genius scarfed down an entire bag of Halloween snickers, wrappers and all, and the only excitement we got from that event was watching her poop out silver and orange wrappers for a week or so.

As for Sean sneaking peeks at our blog (HI SEAN!), we have to add meestor Tom to this list as well (HI TOM!)..... men, listen..... Farkus has joined us, so where are you??? We love you! Talk to us!

I'm glad work is coming along on the new, as yet unnamed, vehicle. I'm sure the scooter usage is making both Tom and Farkus quite jealous. Poor Farkus, soon to be back downstate. Poor Cheezy, soon to be on her own during the week. Poor Jess and Tom... we'll try to pick our under bunders up more often now. Dad, you should see some of the rentals we've looked at. You'd be living in the basement in some of these places. Right dumps they were. Looks like another year at the farmhouse. Lon's twiddling his thumbs with glee. And hey, maybe we'll have another car try to crash through the living room, that would be fun for Dad, huh?

Ma, I'm not sure about the breath right strips. How can you expect us to work on makin babies if I've got snot pouring unhindered from my schnoz? Sorry about the detail there, but it's a fair question, right?

Lori, when we have fund raisers we do the same thing with donations instead of a set price, too. It rakes in the bucks, huh? People give us insane amounts for dogs and burgers, and much like you experienced.... nothing at all for the crafts the staff makes. What's up with that? I guess people need to eat. Bastards.

Ma..... please go forward with your 3d stained glass piece. I absolutely can not wait to see it. It sounds amazing. I wish I had a teeny bit of your creativity. I have a plan though. Once Dad's back in school I'm gonna hit him up for some kiln space too. Prepare yourself, dear listeners, cause you're all gonna get crap I made for Christmas instead of whatever it was that you actually wanted. At least, that's the plan. Woo Hoo!

Ok, enough sarcasm for one day. It must be my impending scholastic imprisonment causing this attitude. You'd think that someone spending this kind of money on school would be excited to go back, but the thought of 60 hour work weeks combined with ONE class makes me want to vomit, so imagine how I may feel about taking four classes instead. Can't wait.

Love you all! Hi Sean and Tom! Join us. Be one of us. Looks like fun, right?

Hello???????

Tis me again (I could say It's me again Margaret, but that's probably overplayed) Hope everyone had a good weekend. 

Jess, have to admit publicly my defeat. I know Sean will never let me forget and this means more phone calls to the all know hippy drippy animal phlebotomist, but you were right. No grapes, no raisins, no chocolate.  So I won't let Roxy fill her cheeks with grapes if Sean promises not to let them have chocolate. (Got that Mr. Flanagan?)

Back to work, in the dinning room today so a shorter shift.  Eveyln, the big bad boss lady is going to be working at a facility a ways away as well as ours.  Either she'll be gone a lot or grumpier.  I'm hoping for away.

Finishing coffee and then getting dressed up.  Love to all!!

Mama Wafflehump's BACK

A special HELLO to Lorinda and Sean (truth's out Sean. No more sneaking around in the dead of night and while Lori's at work or in the can!) If you don't stop feeding the "scooter virus" John's been itching for more than a year now, I'll find SOMETHING to do to get even!

Lori, how many more of these food events will be offered before Christmas? With your batting record at two for two I'm thinking you're permanently stuck in the food tent. Then of course there's the financial stats to support the 'company's' position that food is where you're at...got to tell you, there aren't too many art forms Jess and I love more than handmade quilts. I started one about 20-years-ago and it became a 50" x 50" tablecloth. I WANTED to make it a 10" x 10" napkin but was shamed into continuing against my will. Perhaps it was the $70 I'd invested in special fabrics at the highly-specialized quilt shop. Ultimately I sold the remaining, brand new fabrics (gently protected in plastic wrapping) at a garage sale for $5. I DO have a sewing machine (as does Jess). With luck neither of us will have to open the things up any decade soon. My sister-in-law, Juana, has a similar loathing to the dreaded equipment.

The lake glass can NEVER be compared to collecting Alcoa! When the kids were little we'd go to the beach for 6-8 hours and I walked the beach most of that time. When John would say "time to go" I'd count the number of pieces of glass I'd found and refuse to leave until I had found another 40 pieces. For the first time that day I'd get all three of 'em helping me find glass.

Since the demise of glass in favor of plastic and OTHER materials, there's nothing left to find. If we find just one single piece per visit to the beach, I'm thrilled. Our first jar filled was a big brandy snifter and we kept it on a trunk in our family room.

My sister's daughter (niece Rachel), was both obese and ornery and decided that Aunt Judy had a huge jar full of hard candy that I was unwilling to offer up to her god of calories. So finally, much to Jess's horror, I said "go ahead Rae. Eat all you want." Can't remember now, but I'm hoping those were her baby teeth.

Jess, did you go to the Van K's or did they visit you? Did you finally give Elaine her Mother's Day flowers? Hope E and L are well. We like your in-laws, a lot.

As for the meds my two girls are searching for...GEEZE! BOTH of you (especially my Tennessee daughter!) Jess, get some of those "Breathe Right" strips. They'll hold those nostrils open until they "snot out" and you'll be free! Be sure and wear a green shirt and you'll be good to go no matter where you are!!

The combination stained glass and carved wood piece that's Jess's is still about nine feet off the kitchen floor and needs to come down for cleaning, photographing and price-tagging. We'll send a couple of photos, Lori. Jess, I HAVE been thinking of a new piece in that same vein. Thinking the "tree" should be multi-branched off a center trunk so that it was more of a panoramic piece...colors from any side you viewed. More difficult and counter balancing the upper weight would have to be addressed, but it's wafting in and out of thoughts ever since I talked to you last Sunday.

I refuse to sit here and cry for the next nine months. If I plan plenty of art work I'll probably only have to cry for two of those months. Speaking of the about to leave town husband, we're supposed to go kayaking with Bob and Karen tomorrow on the Manistee. All I can think of is that on Dad's last full day here I don't want company. He asked me what I truly thought about tomorrow and almost seemed to agree with me when I told him.

I had a ton of stuff I wanted to blog but I keep getting those "critical error" pop-ups. So far they haven't acted on their threats but I guess I should finish up for now. Oh yeah! We had one of Dad's acorn squashs with dinner and it was wonderful! Jess, the crop of tomatoes appears to be nearly bordering on invasive, should they all ripen simultaneously.

Love to the girls and Sean and Tommy too. Ma

Thank You Wise One

Father Farcus, you are truly amazing. So around here I reckon we have river glass? You do have bad people, here we don't have the wonderful way of "instant money" that gave me gas money so many times while I was on fumes, aka "THE DEPOSIT". More times than I can count, I walked around the conference rooms at the Marriott  and collected cans so I could get home. I worked there, I didn't just show up or anything, geesh, I do have some pride man! But I'd take glass, plastic or cans to the gas station window many many times.  Here with ALCOA right down the road, people pick up the cans along the road to take for about 30 cents per pound. All the glass and plastic goes to the landfill.  That sucks, even for a non tree hugger like myself.

Sean is out and about riding the scooter.  Having a ball. I'll tell him about the buddy holly glasses. He'd get a kick out of that!!  The benz is still a work in progress but maybe one day Sean will stop sneaking peaks at the blog and post what he's up to on it. (Everyone say Hello Sean!!)

Okay Jess.  Question for you now.  Last week or so I dropped some grapes on the floor, (actually it was suicide. The fridge is so full of leftovers and crap and in need of a scrubbing that they jumped to their demise) so I'm picking them up and Roxy is "helping" me. I start laughing and Sean freaks out. Don't let her eat them! I didn't think she was, Fig....yes, Roxy...somewhat picky. Anyhow, I thought she was pushing them around with her nose.  She was like a chipmunk with about 2 or 3 stored in her cheeks.  So the story is getting to this question. Did you tell us, or Sean or myself that grapes are bad for dogs??  Sean said you did. And of course I had to say something smart and Sean threatened to tell you so I figured I would fess up first and twist it around on him somehow. Anyway, am I killing my dogs everytime my grapes commit suicide?

I'd appreciate an answer in a quick and timely manner before there are dog carcasses all around. Thank you my sister from another mister!!!

And finally, just a quick hello and you're not forgotten to mother cheezy! Hope the mystery that is your life is well and the computer is up and running.

Fair was today.  Made over $500.00 selling hot dogs. One guy gave me $20 for 2!!  We asked for donations instead of a set price. Only sold about 100 and they were donated as well as the buns!! GO MEAT!!  Guess how many quilt blocks were sold??  NONE!  So sad. They were all alone, no one explaining what we were doing or going to do and in an empty corner. Oh well, next fundraiser I'll sit with them and shame people into it!! The bright spot is that everyone liked the quilts I made and displayed!! Whoo Hoo! Time for a quick pick up of the house, feed some mammals (maybe grapes) and possibly a nap.

Love and kisses to all

Fasrcus Says.......

Farcus is always happy to help a brother or sister out. Lake Glass, From the days before deposits and returnables(bottles made of glass). Folks out on the lake, in boats I hope, would toss bottles overboard. Bad folks. Bottles would wash up on shore and be pounded into bits by the waves. Broken bits would then be smoothed out by the wave action and the sand. This would take some time, years perhaps. Later here comes Chezzy and at times Farcus walking down the beach, Lake Michigan beach, looking for pretty rocks and low and behold what do they find but shiny smoothed out bits of pretty glass. As to what Chezzy and Farcus do with the glass....well they put it in a big glass container and look at it and say "Look at the shiny smoothed out bits of pretty glass."

And Farcus is glad the brother Sean has the Lori car running. All I can say about the SCooooooooooooooter is get some Buddy Holly glasses to wear.

Jessie.......Tommie what's up? Tooty Toot the Steamy Boy

I Give Up

Been pondering your post Farcus.  Pray tell, what is lake glass?  Where does it come from? Where do you find it? And finally, what does one do with it?? I feel I must know for my existence on this blue marble to continue completely full filled.  

Toooooot.....Toooooootie

Well here are some pictures of the Buckley Steam Show. Not much going on around here today. Kind of warm and humid. Went to Arcadia yesterday to the beach. Water some what cold but nice. Found a brown chunk of lake glass. Walked around some then visited a bottle shop and a wood mill.

The steam show is a real look at what life around 1900 might have been like. Very interesting adventrue and am looking forward to a return trip next year. That's all folks...Farcus

And Today's Funny........

A stranger was seated next to a little girl on the airplane when the stranger turned to her and said, "Let's talk.  I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with one of your fellow passengers."

The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and asked the stranger, "What would you like to talk about?"

"Oh, I don't know," said the stranger.  "How about universal health care?" and he smiles.

"OK" she said.  "That could be an interesting topic.  But let me ask you a question first.  A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass.  Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass.  Why do you suppose that is?"

The stranger, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it and says, "Hmmm, I have no idea."

To which the little girl replies, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss health care when you don't know shit?"

And I (IIIIIIIII) Will Always Love You (Cheesey and or Farcus Wafflehump)

Mama Wafflehump, if that terrible daughter, sister wannabe, wife of my beloved only brother EVER sends you away, I give you permission to send your spirit guides, totems, scout guides, runners, emissaries of the arch angel, ascended masters to go "get her"!!!! Or just call me and I can change your depends, give you a shower, give you your medications, cook for you, take you for walks, anything and everything. A separate charge for each and every activity mind you.  Nothing personal of course.  I'm a professional care giver now and must be treated and compensated as such!!

Computers. Hmmmmm.  It's about time you freaks of pain and torture realize how much easier my life with a mac is.  Have you not seen the mac/pc commercials?  I love those, especially  the newest one with the hot teas to soothe the vista beast!  Get a MAC for god's sake!!  Sean's mom says that her next computer will be a mac. She's been saying that for years and the next one she gets is still a windows version. Sadomasochistic!? 

Can you not clip the kitty babies claws? I know, I know, they don't like it! (I can hear you Jessica!!) Neither does Poshock but it takes about 20 seconds per paw and no open wounds. Nice for everyone especially when we decide it's bathtime.  Sean still has a long scar down his leg trying to hold Peteno in the tub while she wasn't clipped. This is now a must routine for bathtime. So I'm guessing that no one on this blog but the Flanagan's are brave enough (or is there a better phrase...silly, stupid, naive, idiotic) to bathe their cats?? Here's a solution....sell the cats and use the money for a down payment on an ibook.  Better yet, instead of cock fighting we could ........... never mind, I can see the yoga loving hippie getting freaked out already.

Speaking of the yoga loving hippie freak, love you sis! Maybe, just maybe, doing the downward facing dog asana will keep your nose in check. Not sure about the eyes. Sorry none of the docs understand what to do with you. I get it completely because they can never find the right antibiotic that will do anything to me.  All my past doctors considered me a medical puzzle because I never react to any meds like I should.  The one that really freaked out my current doc is a couple of years ago my shoulder was still really really bad and she wanted to give it a good shot of relaxing to I had 3 days worth of Valium 20mg each.  Friday night I took 3.  Saturday morning: 3, Saturday afternoon: 3, Saturday evening: 3, Sunday morning: 3, Sunday afternoon: 2.  Know what I did that weekend?  Set up for and had a yard sale. Didn't get one damn bit sleepy or weird minded. Not like now with my spotty nervous and mental breakdowns.  340mg's of Valium in 2 1/2 days and it didn't phase me one bit. Sigh. 

Made quilt blocks for the fair at work this weekend.  Sean's quilts and my quilt are in the show. His one quilt is from the '30's and is made from suits and trousers. A true necessity quilt. It should be fun. I'm volunteering for a couple hours. So do they have me stationed with the quilts cause I love to quilt? Nope.  Do they have me doing the cake walk cause I can hit stop on a music making machine quite well and I also love to eat cake? Uh hu, guess again.  You're all right!  They've got me at the food tent! What else does a person who cooks all the time like to do in their spare time? Beg for donations so people can shove a hot dog in their pie hole! If I'm lucky, I may get to cook them too!! One can only dream!!

I'm going to go for now, Ma .. best of luck on that computer, hate it for you.  Once it's up and running I would love to see the stained glass piece and hear more about it. I need to know more about the parents I didn't know I had! Dad, keep you're chin up.  Christmas Vacation will be here before you know it.  And Jess, what wonderful words of wisdom shall I pass onto you? Everyone loves the hippy dippy weatherman, I'm not so sure about the hippy drippy animal phlebotomist.

Love and kisses to all of you!!!

Went to the Beach

Hey Lori and Jess and whomever...

Sounds like Lori's work and Jess's cats are suffering similar air-borne viruses. I'm much more comfortable attributing such discontent to an unknown ailment. Otherwise there's something EVIL in this world. Lori. The pissants are out there looking for participants in their games. Good for you for refusing to play with them! You identified the good guys right away. Keep talking to them, cooking for them, helping them out in the can or wherever else they need you, because they DO need you! When Jess sends me away (as she has said she WILL) I sure hope you're the one there to love me (sniff, sniff, BAD daughter!).

As for the "cat wars"...I don't have a clue how you'd even get Aggie into a carrier to get her to a barn! You'd have to have a death wish to corner that sick animal. And I mean that in the most ERNEST way. Aggie's the cat from hell. They named the Pet Semetary after her. Stephen King's been trying to kill her off in DOZENS of ways, throughout his writings. Still she lives, claws, hisses, attacks. Hard to sleep well in the house Aggie presides over. GO LEVI! HIDE SAMSON! He's too old to get caught in the middle of this thing. Trusting Uma to intercede on behalf of the three sane cats. Oh, did you want my opinion? What's my Grand-dog's stand on this Animal Gehod...pretty frightening.

We had Juana and Doug over for the day Sunday. You guys will really like Doug. He's quick, knowledgable, interesting (and INTERESTED), a good listener as well as a strong participant in conversations...he's complicated without seeming complicated. John (Dad) and I know that not only will you enjoy Doug but he'll feel the same way about you. I'm fairly certain you'll be meeting each other in the future. Juana seems better than she has been for some time. All very good things. But he LOVES cats and Pooh rejected him. He tried until 1:45 a.m. to get that girl to like him. She circled him, sniffed him and even let him entertain her, but pulled away before being petted. I guess you can be a bit poopy when you're over 98-years-old. Thank God I'M her Mom. I won't send her away!

We packed a lunch and headed for Point Betsie today. Dad thought it would be funny to call you from the beach, Jess, but he couldn't get a signal. After about an hour this lady showed up. She must have weighed about 490 pounds and was there with this poor little skinny guy. She was wearing shorts and kept bending over to get rocks to skim but couldn't stand up again without the little guy's help. He finally left her alone and she started picking up rocks about 5' away from us...a sight to remember. We were terrified that she'd fall over and we'd have to somehow upright her again. She looked EXACTLY like Kate Richards Jess.

Well, I've been beeped ten times regarding "72 critical system failures", make that 73 just now. As I said last night, we had a melt down. Guess I'll get out of here while I still can.

Love to all. Ma

Get an Apple!

As I'm sure Lori will agree, we should all switch to the user friendly, non-crashing world of Apple. Someday, when I have about $3000 to spend, I shall buy myself a lovely IBook.... someday.....

I have been battling the demon that is allergies for some time now and today have reached the conclusion that I must have done something awful in a previous life to have to spend this one with a constantly drippy nose. It reaches critical mass when I'm drawing blood on a cat and my snot drips on the poor creatures leg. Also increases the bond between the poker (me) and the holder. I'm sure the person on the other end of that feline feels nothing but trust and compassion as I try to find a vein through blurry eyes and snotty nose. Good times. I have tried every over the counter allergy relief available to the world today and nothing really works. Perhaps I could find a doctor doing a study on those who are immune to all antihistamines. There must be others out there like me.

Speaking of oddities..... has anyone heard about the sasquatch that was recently found? My question is this..... what, exactly are they looking for in the DNA? Is there mystical sasquatch blood to test it against? I, for one, am quite excited for results as I will finally have found my ancestors. Oh, to know where one truly belongs.

Aggie and Levi have drawn battle lines and are fighting a war only they know the meaning of. Needless to say, it's become a bit worrisome. Aggie has open wounds on both sides of her face and Levi is healing from a bash to the head from his grey sister. Levi will lie in wait in the bathroom for Aggie to try to eat and often camps out at the bottom of the stairs to prevent her from climbing them. Aggie turns her aggression mostly on Uma which, for anyone who knows Uma, is poor planning on her part. Uma doesn't play that game and shuts her down time and time again. Sampson generally stays out of the fray unless caught in the middle, but he has proven to be a tough little soldier when his number is called. Why they seem to hate each other after four years together is a mystery to me but a solution must be found, peace talks are in the process. Aggie might find herself without a home if she doesn't chill out. Levi is unadoptable as he has a penchant for peeing inappropriately which leaves the evil Aggie as the clear choice to go if necessary. Barn living is the life for her. Not really, I can't do it, but somethings got to give before someone loses an eye.

I guess I'll go now. I love you all and I suppose I'll see my pa soon enough (sorry Farkus), but not really cause once school starts I'll be pretty much out of the house six days a week. I'm thinking about taking a yoga class too.... go hippie!

Trouble in Paradise

The computer suffered a meltdown during the night. I had postponed responding to Lori and Cucca's blogs until tonight because I was totally whipped last night. But I'll reserve a long missive tonight until I'm sure we're OK. Farcus worked all day to correct this problem. The HP "help" folks wanted $50 this morning to "fix" what they said they could identify immediately. Sort of like Hewlett Packard shut us down while we slept, then said they could fix what they'd done "for a price." Excuse me, but that sounds a LOT like extortion! I DO go crazy when I've written a long, LONG note to folks and then it's lost. So, more tomorrow.

Love, Ma

Cheesy bufflehump and her stringy kids

First and foremost I have to say that your "senior's breakfast special" post was sheer genious, Lori. Utter fabulousness. Thank you for that bit of giggle inducing writing... it was heartily enjoyed. I'm sorry that you're stuck in the middle of two year olds at work.... how dare you speak to the residents and how could you expect the kitchen equipment to be more than sub-standard? Silly woman, just who do you think you are?

Tommy and I had a great dinner with the Van parents last night. I heard a rumor that one miss Lorinda Flanagan may just be riding a scooter to work, is this true? Don't let my dad get his hands on this scooter as he may hold you at gunpoint to steal it from you. Is this the scooter from Craigslist? You're so cool lady, i wanna scooter to take to work!

Mom, I HOPE and HOPE and HOPE that the stained glass piece sells. As much as i love it, it would be a major boost to your income and could save my parents from ruin. Plus, it's wicked cool and it would be awesome to think of someone giving it a place of honor in their home after spending money on it, not because the artist gave it to them. Even if that artist is their mom. Maybe if it doesn't sell, someday I'll make seomthing so cool that it would be worthy of a trade. Until then, make it available to the masses, it's too beautiful not to try. Dad, could you take a picture of it so Lori could see it? It's from the stained glass days and is just about the coolest piece I've ever seen. I do have to admit, though, I am curious what you'd come up with all these years later.... a new and improved version for the year 2008.... hmmm, something to think about.

So school's starting again. I didn't really think about it in a way that would make it real until you told me you were coming home soon dad. School schmool. Yuck. I've already spent about three hundred dollars on parking pass and books.... haven't even started buying supplies for the art classes yet. Bastards. I did finally get my bill for Fall, though, and am happily surprised to learn that my loan will cover it. I got less this year so I had a bit of a panic after registration, even though I still have plenty of time to drop a class if I can't afford them all. Good old Sallie Mae came through once more. Gotta love the Federal Government and their willingness to put young people in debt.

I borrowed the latest Harry Pooter from ma Van and am happily reading my way through it today. Tom's working on the Jeep and I have a huge cup o' joe at my side as I read the final installment of Harry's adventures. So far, it's a good one and I heard that the new movie is coming out this Fall.... I don't care what anyone says, I love Mr. Potter and his companions.

So, clearly, there's not much going on here but I wanted to drop in and say hello to all. Lori, keep your chin up. You are a Queen in the kitchen and when I stick my parents in an old folks home, it is you I would want cooking for them, no doubt. Oh yeah, have no allusions about it ma and pa, you're going to a home and it won't be mine. Just so you know. Heh, heh, heh.

And after that last comment, I was wondering if you'd be bringing any produce home with you dad? Cause although I might not be willing to care for you once you're incoherent, I certainly am a good daughter right now, right? I like eggplant and tomatoes. A lot. Just so you know.

Peace out tree huggers, live long and prosper.

That's WAFFLEHUMP children!!

I'M CHEESEY and the old man's FARCUS...WAFFLEHUMP!!! Not "Wufhump". Not "Wufflehump". Don't you know how much people hate having their names mispronounced??? I was taught in speech classes that mispronounciations are a sign of DISRESPECT. If your name is Cheesey or Farcus Wafflehump you've got to find respect SOMEWHERE!

Just a note tonight. I'm totally whipped (and so is 'Farcus'). Since August 4th I've prepared, served and cleaned up 15 meals for guests. Juana and Doug will be here tomorrow (we had six for dinner tonight). I LOVE company and look forward to guests ALWAYS...wish they'd spread it out a bit 'tho.

Just wanted to say hey. More to follow. John leaves for the farmhouse a week from tomorrow. Stand tall Jess! You and Tommy should have thrown us out YEARS ago! Too late now.

Love to all. Please keep writing. I miss you guys. Ma

The Seniors Breakfast Special (for those over 61)

John and Judy went to breakfast at a restaurant where the "seniors special was 2 eggs, bacon, hashbrowns and toast for $1.99  "Sounds good"  Judy said, "but I don't want the eggs."  "Then I'll have to charge you $2.49 because you're ordering a la carte" the waitress warned her. "You mean I'd have to pay for not taking the eggs?" Judy asked incredulously. "YES!" stated the waitress. "Then I'll take the special" said Judy.  "How would you like your eggs?" asked the waitress. "Raw and in the shell," replied Judy.  She took the 2 eggs home

Dorfus Frickenbutt says hello to the Wumphlehumps

Obviously Miss Jess doesn't read her emails in all her spare time while not mopping or not sleeping!

Up early again. Should I say again?  Yesterday the alarm didn't go off and I was almost late. Last night I played with the alarms while on the phone with dad and must have set them both (1 clock, his/her alarms) so it went off.  Sigh. I could have slept this morning.  Now do I go to yard sales or work on the quilt for work?

Speaking of work, was called on the carpet yesterday because 2 skanks got in a disagreement and everyone had separate stand up meetings. I was working with Mark (my supervisor) and did he stand up for me? Have my back? Tell Eveyln to go to hell, these menus are corporates and his? Why hell no. Plus, I have too much personality.  I visit too much with the residents. She's very "professional" and doesn't understand my personality. I told her I couldn't imagine being the way she is.  I'm also a failure for not being able to bake cookies in an unbalanced gas roasting oven. Pies are cut too small and the menus are lacking. Afterwards......Mark says cookies are fine, menus are fine, pie sizes are fine. Do what he says and don't worry about Evelyn. ???????? Am I in the middle of something here? So if things go to shit, I'm to have her call Mark asap (his words) and I'm sure he'll cover his ass. She doesn't bother people that have m&m's in their pockets, just us. I still like my job though. Maybe not today. 

Breakthrough on the yellow car. New battery. Bigger, better, more amp and hp. Sean started it and it fried the starter!!  Bless his heart. New starter arrived and he might be working on it this weekend. Not sure if he'll do that or work on the new scooter he found on craig's list.  Yup, he has another project.  Hopefully this one will go easier on him. Luckily, not much $ has been spent on anything lately.

Have had 3 bad days in a row. Not sleeping, work or home. Just stupid stuff.  We yell a little and get past it. All marriages need a little yelling once in awhile.  I tend to get overwhelmed, anxious and it escalates from there. Then I feel like I'm always in the wrong and feel like I'm 5 and always in trouble. I honestly think I'm peri menopausal. I was checked last year and it was a negative, but the nurses at work say "pre peri" doesn't show up with blood work. I've talked one into taking blood from me but yesterday was a BAD day. 

Can I still carry your children if I'm peri Jess??  Did I tell you I had a dream you were preggers? I really did. Seemed so real.  Stop being stressed. That's a major shutdown. HA!  Me giving advice on not being stressed. That's how I live my life. Is there any other way? 

Going to look through the paper and craig's list and see if there's any decent sales to go to. Still haven't made up my mind. 

John, I'm not an eggplant eater and I only like squash if it's sliced and deep fried (everything is better deep fried) but I'm a big enough person to share what I don't like with the other daughter.  BTW, sorry for all the "girl talk"

Will write again later!!!

Well........

I'll have you know Miss Jessie that never in all my years have I acted childish. It has been at least two days , well maybe one since I have thrown myself on the floor, yelled and screamed until I got my own way. So farts, beltches and other stinky smells to you. So ha to you tooooo.

Now to an up date on the garden. Lots of tomatoes starting to get ripe. Squash and egg plants are looking good. Melons and cucumbers are spreading out with lots of blooms. I'll share with Tommy, Mom and Lori but Jessie..........snork......snork to you.

Lori I feel Sean's pain. I've had any number of tool throwing temper fits working on car projects. But once I've started it is hard to give up the project. Even when I know I should. See that's pretty mature don't you think?

Just finished a nice visit and dinner with uncle Joe and Aunt Maggie. And yes Jessie I did manage to get the food into my mouth and not stick it in my ear. So ha again. Going on a field trip in the morning with the aunt and uncle and will try to conduct myself in a mature manner. Not sure where we are going as mom and the aunt have planned things, I think. Jessie, Mick, Cindy's husband sent a box of service metals that belonged to father Ralph. Not sure how Mick got them, but I now have a complete set. So that is very cool. I have to write him a letter of thanks. Did not know dad had so many metals. Jessie when you are here next you'll have to see the metals and all the letters that I now have. They are a lost until now part of the family history.

Going to the steam tractor gathering in Buckley this Thursday or Friday. Home of the super duper corndog. No turkey dogs will be found here. Only good old American made in the USA breaded, dripping fat, corndogs. Jessie should I purchase you one and stick it in the mail? I'll take pictures and post them. Of the tractors not the corndogs. Art show on Saturday and Lee, Janey and Jean are coming over for dinner. Well I love you all. Time to go play in my new sand box and I'm not going to share any of my toys. Oh my no. Farcuss Wumphlehump the 3rd here and out.

Cheesy wuffhump?

Did I get that right? Is this a term of endearment from my father? Speaking of the pap bear, is he too good to post here? Oh... look at the big hairy guy with the beard and silly jokes, he's too good to post something to his daughter and daughter-ish-in-law-ish. Bully to him then.

I actually have very little to say. I'm glad the Krotchenspargers are being replaced by Joe and Maggie, what a refreshingly cool couple of folks THEY are. Send them my love, I hope they are in good health. Here's my question about the K offspring... why is it that lesbians and child molesters can have a kid and Tom and I can't? I swear we'd be good parents! Why don't the fates give us a wee redheaded child? Bastards.

So our phones are turned off indefinitely due to the need to pay other bills involving lights and fans.... not that I USE the damn thing anyway. Lori, don't feel bad, I don't call my parents either. I HATE the thing. I really only have it so I can call SOS when the red rollerskate decided to crap out on me. I'm a bad kid... phones are an evil invention created to give us all cancer of the ear.

Well, gotta go eat and watch some more Olympics. Maybe next post I'll indulge myself and give you all my impression of the opening ceremony in which I liken this year's Olympics to the one held in Nazi Germany. Now that's something worth waiting for.

I send you all hugs and kisses, except my dad because he's too good for such childish behavior.

Cuccadupolis

What's Happenin' with Cheesey Wafflehump

Someday, Lori! Someday YOU'll be 61, and I won't! But you'll NEVER be Cheesey Wafflehump. Can't take that one away from me.

A week ago at this time the monsters had just come out from under the bed to terrorize us for two more days. Our reward for endurance is that Uncle Joe and Aunt Maggie will be here tomorrow afternoon. Don't know how long they can stay, but it'll be fun.

Jess, do you have a photograph of that offensive visiting hound? Can't you teach the Grand dog to attack instead of kiss? Save the mop you had to use and offer Frankie the scent. At LEAST convince our beloved pooch that bowing to animals JUST because they happen to have four legs, instead of the more appropriate THREE, is simply NOT required in one's own home. No offense meant Lori. Some dogs look better on four paws.

Don't remember whether I told you Jess, but for the "money" show in Frankfort one of my two offerings will be your stained glass. It's unique and might net me something. I've put an $1800 price tag on it which jumps to over $2300 with the commission attached. NOBODY's gonna pay that much money, but the items have to be offered for sale. I'm guessing that if I could be that infamous 'fly on the wall' I'd hear some whispered "who does she think she IS?" remarks.

Got to say, in my own defense for the "call ahead" policy...it's more because I'M the problem here, not the house. Only Jess truly knows just how gross I can be when I'm working, on ANYthing! Speaking of which. John and I kind of finished the secret project today. We've got a couple of good ideas for finishing it, but those will happen next year.

Sure hope you hear from the landlord of the Craftsman Jess. Only THAT particular style could ever tempt me to take on another used home.

Speaking of "gross". You seem to have just repeated my very words, spoken last night, Jess. I actually couldn't believe I'd ever, in this entire life, suggest that a baby shouldn't make it in this world, but there's something horribly WRONG with that family and reproducing that genetic profile is one putrid idea. Fred's father, brother and son all attacked and violated children. I'm vindictive enough to wish a repeat on P and B's offspring, but Darwinian Nature appears to be working on a natural solution. Enough said. Your Dad hates this conversation.

The slot car is one varnishing away from casting. We still haven't ordered the materials, but we will. I SHOULD get about 45 more tiles made, dried and glazed for Dad's first week of school and firing. I'm thinking that just one more project outside, and the tiles will be the end of hard work around here for a while.

Lori, maybe Sean just needs a short break from no-name car. A fresh viewpoint is often the best way to go with any intense project. Tell him we applaud his determination and hard work.

Rattled on long enough. I miss you guys when I don't hear from you. John/Dad misses you every bit as much as I do. "Not blogging anymore!" he'll say. "Not until somebody blogs back!!"

Love you guys. Tons. Ma/Cheesey

The green thing

I don't know Dad, what's green and has wheels?? Huh? What is it??

I'm pretty much in the same place as Lori... day off, cleaning, bills, grocery store, random projects. I need to clean up the back porch cause some of my flowers have died and some just need some TLC. Gonna get them looking nice again hopefully. It's cool out, thankfully, and I'm thinking about making some soup for my Tommy, he loves soup. Ordered meds for Frankie and have an almost $200 hole in my pocket now, I'm rethinking how much I love her right now. My friend Chriss brought her dog over Saturday night and although we made it through this visit without any accidents, he has a major drooling problem and I was forced to actually MOP this morning. I'm a true housewife now.

I'm not surprised that B and P's kid is a medical mess. I don't think mother nature wanted them to procreate and she is trying to rebalance things now. Gross.

I'm so excited that things are coming along well artistically for you ma! Keep plugging away and someday maybe you and dad will be a force in the slot car world as well as you being a highly regarded mixed media type of player. Someday I'll be brave enough to take the summer off of work to put some energy into making things to sell. It has often crossed my mind that I should just take three months to see what I could create and get it out there. Alas, the great checking account cog keeps me from doing it. Maybe if my damn dog didn't cost so much.....

Tom and I looked at a couple of houses to rent yesterday. One which we couldn't get a hold of the landlord is in downtown South Lyon and is, wait for it, an arts and crafts bungalow. It's GORGEOUS. And huge, with a cement floor basement useful for slot cars and pottery wheels. I'm not going to get my hopes up, it's in a great location and a relatively great price. The fact that the guy didn't call us back makes me think it's probably no longer available. Three bedrooms, two baths, central air, living room with built-ins and a gorgeous dining room. Kitchen looked amazing, what we could see of it, and it has a wee little fenced in yard. Porch swing. Hardwood floors. Enough said. The others weren't much to talk about.... high priced and too small. We'll find something, hopefully before the propane monster gets us.

Well, I gotta go to school and drop another $80 on my parking pass and god knows how much on books. I also need to figure out where one of my classes is... it's in a building I've never even heard of. Ah school, summer goes so fast. Maybe I'll take my overpriced dog with me.

I love you all and shall talk to you soon! Jessicups